Solar Eclipse turns US Whites into BLACKS!

watermelon man

As the sky turned completely black as a result of the total eclipse the White folks viewing it in the south were cheering and yelling “beam me up Scotty I’m ready to go home,” but the cheering turned to loud gasps and out right crying as formerly Southern Crackers and red necks couldn’t believe their eyes they had somehow become Black.

Thelma Houston’s “Don’t leave me this way,” has become the rallying cry for many former Whites, but others are singing, “Finally it’s happened to me… and are “Dancing in the Streets” as the United States was thrown into a panic after the solar eclipse had the unexpected result of turning everyone who was White, Black.

Scientists as yet don’t know how long the phenomenon will last. The consensus seems to it could be a matter of months or a year before peoples complexions return to their original color. But some scientists are saying the condition could be permanent.

The suicide rate has gone up among the formerly White population. Mental health counselors are struggling to keep up with the demand as some Whites appear to be going crazy.

President Trump quickly called a press conference to denounce Neo Nazis, White Supremacy and racism. Trump wanted to be absolutely clear,’ there are absolutely and equivocally no good people who hate Black people.’ He shook his head and said ‘some people’s children,’ referring to the narrow mindedness of the protestors.

The president encouraged people not to panic and assured the American public that business will go on as usual, minus the discrimination of course. When reminded that the color change could be temporary, the president said, ‘I aint taking no chances so I am making an immediate call for Reparations and asking Congress to nullify all mandatory minimum drug sentencing.  We shall overcome,’ he said.

Asked how the color change had affected him, Trump smiled and said ‘ I’m still rich and now I’m bigger’ as he sauntered Obama-like to the presidential helicopter.

Formerly White people in power weren’t taking any chances, just about every State passed laws against discrimination. Every state is seeking to re write their textbooks to include the African contribution to history and they are making them less Eurocentric.

The heads of US Christendom have announced that Jesus is indeed Black.

Churches have been filled with formerly White people some say to ask God to rid them of this curse , but others are praying for forgiveness for their treatment of Black people before their condition.

Others are figuring out ways the transformation can be beneficial and still others are trying to figure out how to exploit being magical and the ability to withstand pain. Yet others have reported being thrilled at the prospect that their kids  may be able to jump higher,run faster, hold their breathe longer, dance better, and just be, well cool. Some already have the WALK. Still others are wondering if their male children will be bigger.

Speaking of bigger, the divorce rate in the formerly White community just shot up, led primarily by White women, but White men are not far behind. No one seems to be able to explain what’s BEHIND it, or better yet no one is telling.

Upon seeing their spouses become Black, some male counterparts in formerly mixed  Black and White marriages were filing for divorce

In some formerly rich all white enclaves, residents have marched to the police station telling the cops, ‘this aint the hood m-f-r ,don’t even think about trying that sh-t here’

Police in cities with the early Black majorities like Detroit, Chicago, and Washington DC  reportedly spent the day in the station houses playing with their sticks, while they tried to figure out which Black section to harass.

Game of Thrones writers announced that they would not be continuing their project  featuring a victorious Southern Confederacy, saying, ‘Why in the world would anyone think showing people who don’t believe in the humanity of another  as triumphant, what a terrible idea. What good could possibly come out of it?’

The writers are now writing a script for production based on what would have happened had the Native Americans chopped off Christopher Columbus head and slaughtered his men after they apparently “discovered” America. They are trying to choose between that and a story about how US slaves revolted and overthrew the slavocracy.

Al Sharpton was seen in the streets carrying the remains of his empty office in one box in Washington DC and  muttering to himself. Micheal Eric Dyson is said to be looking to write a book about the experience. Van Jones was spotted crying in front of CNN headquarters in New York saying he was ruined.

Several upper class and bourgie  members of the first Black people reportedly are leaving the county.

Massive aide has been pouring into Sierra Leone, Uganda and the areas which are being threatened by famine. A Haiti task force has been set up.

National Football League owners have announced that a team will be signing Colin Kaepernick soon they owners just ask that he not make a big production about it.

The earlier or previous Black population doesn’t know what to make of it all. One old preacher shook his head and said, “God does indeed have a sense of humor.”


justice then peace


One Comment Add yours

  1. Char Kerelko says:

    This terrifically funny piece reminds me of Dr. Seuss’ great masterpiece “The Sneeches” a very clever allegory on racial prejudice and identification.

    Liked by 1 person

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